Bill Gates Jokes

Bill Gates Joke 1:

Bill Gates dies in a car crash and ends up in front in front of StPeter@heaven.com.
St. Peter says I don’t know what to do with you. You’ve created many jobs and helped a lot of people in the new electronic age, but you’ve also been a royal pain to some of our big contributers. I’ll tell you what, I’ll let you have a look at heaven and hell and choose for yourself.
So St. Peter shows Bill heaven, with the clouds and Angels and harps, and Bill thinks to himself: “OK, as far as it goes.”
Then St. Peter shows Bill hell, with scantily clad bathing beauties on a tropical beach with palm trees and Bill thinks to himself: “This is a no-brainer!”
So Bill says to St. Peter: “I’ll take hell!”
Two weeks later St. Peter thinks to himself: “I wonder how Bill is doing?”
So he drops by hell and finds Bill chained to a wall, consumed by flames and screaming in agony.
“Where are the bathing beauties, where’s the beach?” Cried Bill. “This isn’t what you showed me!”
“That”, said St. Pete, “was the screensaver.”

Bill Gates Joke 2:

If Bill Gates had a dime for every time a Windows box crashed...
.... Oh, wait a minute, he already does.

Bill Gates Joke 3:

Invited entire tech support department to play golf. Brought Melissa to complete the foursome.
Steve Jobs started work today. The silverware looks great, but he doesn't do windows -- yet.
The baby cries constantly. Maybe I'll buy Fisher-Price.
Bought my first Macintosh. It's sooooo cute!
Good day. Found over 15 bucks' worth of soda cans in the trash bins outside Microsoft headquarters.
Bad day. Ellison sent back the heads of two of the three hitmen I hired, along with a note saying he ate the third one whole.
Still ahead of Murdoch and Eisner. Yes!
Reminder: 35-cent Snapple coupon expires in two days!
Memo to self: Next time, when my wife says we need to buy china, she means dishes.
Ran into Demi and Bruce. Upped my offer to a billion dollars.
Seventh day: Rested.

Bill Gates Joke 4:

Eventually, Bill croaks and Satan is there to greet him. "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you've got me in a good mood, I'll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which you'll be locked up forever."
Satan takes Bill to a huge lake of fire in which millions of poor souls are tormented and tortured.
He then takes him to a massive coliseum where thousands of people are chased about and devoured by starving lions.
Finally, he takes Bill to a tiny room in which there is a beautiful young blonde with an alluring look on her face, sitting at a table on which there is a bottle of the finest wine. To Bill's delight, he sees a PC in the corner.
Without hesitation, Bill says "I'll take this option."
"Fine," says Satan, allowing Bill to enter the room. Satan locks the room after Bill. As he turns around, he bumps into Lucifer.
"That was Bill Gates!" cried Lucifer. "Why did you give him the best place of all!"
"That's what everyone thinks" snickered Satan. "The bottle has a hole in it and the girl hasn't!"
"What about the PC?"
"It's got Windows XP!" laughed Satan. "And it's missing three keys,"
"Which three?"
"Control, Alt and Delete."